Monday, August 17, 2009

::Two Kittens::

despised squirrels in the city. They made life miserable. Chipmunks were always the cute smaller cousin that frolicked about in the forests with puffed up cheeks and cuteness abounding. Now that we are out in the country, I have come to despise them as well. In fact, chipmunks have supplanted the squirrel for #1 wildlife species I would happily place on the extinction list. {Unless mosquitoes are allowed on the list.}

I plant a bush, the nasty critters tunnel under it. I sow some seeds, the little beasts dig them out. I feed the family dinner on the back porch, an army of furry monsters invade and poo all over the table cloth. Agh!

Enter-- two kittens. All of my hope is pinned on their fuzzy shoulders, (and razor claws and pointed teeth.) They will become our killing machines. They will seek and destroy. Yes, they will leave gruesome presents on our doorstep for us to find in the morning. But that is exactly the point. Every gory gifts is one less rodent digging up the garden and pooping on our linens.

I asked the kids to name these two, but they kept suggesting their friends' names, or an animal from a Disney cartoon. . . It wasn't working. Then, taking matters into my own hands, I thought I would infuse our new pets with an extra powerful dose of hunter's instinct by naming them accordingly.

Benelli & Remington

For the hunters among you, no explanations required.
For all others, Google is your friend.