Friday, June 26, 2009


For Stephanie

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

::Passed through me::

". . . my children [have] passed through me on their way into life."

These are the words of a mother of twelve, marvelling at the honour of being a bearer, no matter how temporary, for her beautiful children. I was struck by the sentiment. It resonates with me. Here I am--a fifth baby in my womb--only 5 weeks left to hold her inside me. I will never hold another baby in me again. I want to grasp this fully now so I can cope with the loss of it later but life is too busy to slowly savour these last days. I feel her move and wiggle and already I find I am looking beyond to her days of independent life--outside. Encompassed by the warmth of family, but on the other side of my skin.

I have heard that this feeling of loss will revisit me when they each leave home. There will be a new sense of parting and mourning as they leave the inside of family life and pass through to a life apart from Aidan and I, and from their siblings. I brace myself against the pain I suspect will be involved in that. Yet that parting can be held off for years. This parting is imminent. Nine months, five times over, is what I have been given. And we have arrived at our last few days.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven--the Ecclesiastical saying goes. This season is drawing to a close. I will mourn. But not for long.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

::Life: un-cut::

{::Wild phlox at Fitzroy this past weekend::}

Caelah just finished up a season of HipHop lessons. We attended her "recital" and were delighted to find she has fantastic rhythm and appears to be a natural. We were not so delighted to witness her struggle through her final dance-- not because she was forgetting her parts or unable to perform the moves--but because she was busy trying to "pick an itch" that happened to be UP HER NOSE!

Elijah, unlike the other kids had been resistant to praying out loud. He will repeat what we pray, but hasn't wanted to pray with his own words. Yet, the other night, after a very hard day, he was ready; "I'm sorry I was bad, Jesus. Please give me another chance."

Gabriel has come a long way with his speech. In fact he very rarely stops talking. But we have discovered that he has odd gaps in his abilities. He can say "because" or "bigger" or "brother," but for some reason he can NOT say "back up." Instead he puts an "f" where the"b" belongs. Take a moment to say that out loud a few times. See the problem? Aidan and I were driving down the road when Gabriel erupted; "@#!* up! @#!* up! Did you see that, daddy? Why aren't you @#!*ing up?!"

Isaiah has a love/hate relationship with my parent's cat. He will give a blood-curdling scream if the thing so much as looks at him. Yet, just this weekend he strung his first two words together to say; "Hi kitty!"

I have been badly chastened. Upon muttering a very ungracious opinion to myself--(or so I thought)-- the other day, one of children proceeded to share it with the person whose item of clothing was the object of my comment; "My mommy says that your dress is just awful." Ugh.

Coach Aidan has been doing a fantastic job on the t-ball field these past few months. This is what coaching t-ball sounds like;
"Good hit! Ok, run. No--not that way--the other way. Touch the base. No--stop running! Come back! You need to stay there! Hannah, there's the ball! See it? It's right there. Ok, get it. Throw it to first. That base, right there. No--don't run it to home base... Elijah stop bugging your sister! Gabriel stay away from Tyler when he's swinging... "
It's a wonder he has a voice by the end of it all. Or the nerves, for that matter.

That's a sample of life around here.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

::Green green grass::

It's been a long time coming, but it's finally here...

Wednesday, June 03, 2009


For weeks our neighbours, Tammy and Anthony--new friends of ours--have been expecting the arrival of a new foal. {New lingo for me. I was calling it a "baby horse" for awhile there.} The foal was due a week ago, and Tammy was getting nervous. There is so much investment in these beautiful creatures, and she has already suffered some losses.

Last night, I went to bed around 10:30 after watching "Wives and Daughters," a movie in the Jane Austen tradition that sent Aidan into a fit of boredom, thus causing him to abandon me for his office. When I awoke after midnight he still wasn't beside me in bed. Hmm. I got up, looked across to the loft. Lights were still on there, and in the house. Finally I headed downstairs to get the phone and saw a new caller listed: Tammy & Anthony called around 11:30 pm. The van was missing in the driveway. Ah ha.

It turns out they needed an extra pair of hands.

We all headed over to see the new foal this morning. Longest legs! It was wobbling all over the place. "Cute horse," Gabriel decided. "You want to feed this one?" Anthony asked, bringing Gabriel the next stall. "Na, it's your horse," Gabriel replied. Ok.

I'll bring Caelah over this afternoon and try and get some pictures.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

::Master Bedroom::


Reality, at the moment...