"The only thing that has ever smelled worse in my 33 years as a fireman, is a dead body."
-Ottawa Fire Chief, upon inspecting our home at 5:00 a.m. this morning-
-Ottawa Fire Chief, upon inspecting our home at 5:00 a.m. this morning-
6:00 a.m. I am sitting across the street from our house, staring at a HAZMAT team buzzing about our front porch. They suspect we have a hydrogen sulphide backing-up from our sewage pipes. I can't even describe how dangerous that possibility is.
6:16 a.m. The meters haven't picked up any traces of toxicity. So, the chief is officially stumped. They are suctioning out our inside air with a pump. Then we are on our own.
11:00 a.m. I have sought refuge at my mom's. In her great mercy, she took us in. And in watching my three children for a few hours, has allowed me to partially recover from a 4-hour night. My head feel like it is stuffed with cotton, and has a persistant throb. And my eyes, swollen and slightly purple, won't fully open. The worst of it all, is that me and my children stink. Really, really stink. And I assume we will continue to stink for weeks to come.
The story. . .
At 3:00, I woke up. I have been waking up at that time for a couple of weeks now. At 3:30, my senses were assaulted by a smell I can only describe as chokingly, suffocatingly rancid. It was only logical to assume it was a skunk, but it seemed be powered by a strong chemical undertone. We called 911. Two reasons: 1.Either a dangerous gas was blanketing the house OR 2. There was a skunk that had come to torment us from Hates, who needed to be given the same treatement as a knoxious gas.
I called my poor sister, (soundly asleep on the first floor), urging her to wake her roomate and meet us outside. I later found out that she nudged Rachel awake saying, "Bad smell. Dangerous. Must leave." Or something equally vague. Needless to say, Rachel was not impressed, and didn't move all that quickly.
We congregated across the street, our kids stowed away in our car, nestled in heavy blankets. Three fire engines and the fire chief's SUV arrived 7 minutes after we called. The fire chief informed us he could smell us from three blocks away, and proceeded to have the house checked thoroughly for toxic gases. He came and went to ask us the most interesting questions:
1. "Do you have cats?" (Kate and Rachel have two pre-pubescent female kittens--hardly capable, on their worst day--of producing anything of this magnitude.)
2. "Do you have any interesting gifts in your basement? Say. . . from Iraq?" (He informed us soberly of cases where the discovery of old shells and bomb carcasses had kicked the severity of seemingly innocuous house-calls up a few notches.
By 7:00, the trucks had all pulled away, and we were left with this highly unpleasant, but perversely humourous diagnosis: "We think a skunk must have up and died under your front porch. You probably oughtta call the landlady."
The combined smell and skunk and death now defines our day. We can't leave it at home. It follows us. I got the hint, when after waking up from a nap, my mom wisked the pillows away for washing. I suspect we will be treated a wee bit like lepers in the next week. Humbling. So, to those of you who live far away-- stay away. For those who live close by, please don't run away screaming when you see us coming. I don't think I could take it. Just smile, and feign indifference, atleast. Oh, and do laugh. Laugh hard. But do it now, when I can't hear you.
Hydrogen sulfide: A colourless, toxic, flammable gas that is responsible for the foul odor of rotten eggs and flatulence. It often results when bacteria break down organic matter in the absence of oxygen, such as in sewers. Hydrogen sulfide is considered a broad-spectrum poison, meaning that it can poison several different systems in the body, although the nervous system is most affected. The toxicity of H2S is comparable with that of hydrogen cyanide. Exposure to lower concentrations can result in eye irritation, a sore throat and cough, shortness of breath, and fluid in the lungs. These symptoms usually go away in a few weeks. Long-term, low-level exposure may result in fatigue, loss of appetite, headaches, irritability, poor memory, and dizziness. Higher concentrations tend to be fatal.
Skunk: The best-known, most distinctive, and often most notorious feature of the skunks is the great development of their anal scent glands, which they can use as a defensive weapon. They produce a mixture of sulfur-containing chemicals that has a highly offensive smell. The odour of the fluid is strong enough to ward off bears and other potential attackers, and can be difficult to remove from clothing. The smell aside, the spray can cause irritation and even temporary blindness, and is sufficiently powerful to be detected by even an insensitive human nose anywhere up to a mile downwind.
Both highly formidable foes. From here, I can tell you, the hydrogen sulfide isn't sounding so bad.
6:16 a.m. The meters haven't picked up any traces of toxicity. So, the chief is officially stumped. They are suctioning out our inside air with a pump. Then we are on our own.
11:00 a.m. I have sought refuge at my mom's. In her great mercy, she took us in. And in watching my three children for a few hours, has allowed me to partially recover from a 4-hour night. My head feel like it is stuffed with cotton, and has a persistant throb. And my eyes, swollen and slightly purple, won't fully open. The worst of it all, is that me and my children stink. Really, really stink. And I assume we will continue to stink for weeks to come.
The story. . .
At 3:00, I woke up. I have been waking up at that time for a couple of weeks now. At 3:30, my senses were assaulted by a smell I can only describe as chokingly, suffocatingly rancid. It was only logical to assume it was a skunk, but it seemed be powered by a strong chemical undertone. We called 911. Two reasons: 1.Either a dangerous gas was blanketing the house OR 2. There was a skunk that had come to torment us from Hates, who needed to be given the same treatement as a knoxious gas.
I called my poor sister, (soundly asleep on the first floor), urging her to wake her roomate and meet us outside. I later found out that she nudged Rachel awake saying, "Bad smell. Dangerous. Must leave." Or something equally vague. Needless to say, Rachel was not impressed, and didn't move all that quickly.
We congregated across the street, our kids stowed away in our car, nestled in heavy blankets. Three fire engines and the fire chief's SUV arrived 7 minutes after we called. The fire chief informed us he could smell us from three blocks away, and proceeded to have the house checked thoroughly for toxic gases. He came and went to ask us the most interesting questions:
1. "Do you have cats?" (Kate and Rachel have two pre-pubescent female kittens--hardly capable, on their worst day--of producing anything of this magnitude.)
2. "Do you have any interesting gifts in your basement? Say. . . from Iraq?" (He informed us soberly of cases where the discovery of old shells and bomb carcasses had kicked the severity of seemingly innocuous house-calls up a few notches.
By 7:00, the trucks had all pulled away, and we were left with this highly unpleasant, but perversely humourous diagnosis: "We think a skunk must have up and died under your front porch. You probably oughtta call the landlady."
The combined smell and skunk and death now defines our day. We can't leave it at home. It follows us. I got the hint, when after waking up from a nap, my mom wisked the pillows away for washing. I suspect we will be treated a wee bit like lepers in the next week. Humbling. So, to those of you who live far away-- stay away. For those who live close by, please don't run away screaming when you see us coming. I don't think I could take it. Just smile, and feign indifference, atleast. Oh, and do laugh. Laugh hard. But do it now, when I can't hear you.
***
Hydrogen sulfide: A colourless, toxic, flammable gas that is responsible for the foul odor of rotten eggs and flatulence. It often results when bacteria break down organic matter in the absence of oxygen, such as in sewers. Hydrogen sulfide is considered a broad-spectrum poison, meaning that it can poison several different systems in the body, although the nervous system is most affected. The toxicity of H2S is comparable with that of hydrogen cyanide. Exposure to lower concentrations can result in eye irritation, a sore throat and cough, shortness of breath, and fluid in the lungs. These symptoms usually go away in a few weeks. Long-term, low-level exposure may result in fatigue, loss of appetite, headaches, irritability, poor memory, and dizziness. Higher concentrations tend to be fatal.
Skunk: The best-known, most distinctive, and often most notorious feature of the skunks is the great development of their anal scent glands, which they can use as a defensive weapon. They produce a mixture of sulfur-containing chemicals that has a highly offensive smell. The odour of the fluid is strong enough to ward off bears and other potential attackers, and can be difficult to remove from clothing. The smell aside, the spray can cause irritation and even temporary blindness, and is sufficiently powerful to be detected by even an insensitive human nose anywhere up to a mile downwind.
Both highly formidable foes. From here, I can tell you, the hydrogen sulfide isn't sounding so bad.
