Wednesday, February 11, 2009

::Careful hands::

I met with the man whose careful hands took my four children from my womb. Those of you who have been blessed with natural births will not, perhaps, appreciate the dependence a C-section-mama has on her surgeon. Apart from staying calm and praying a lot, and apart from dealing as best I can with the pain afterwards, it is all up to him.

This particular man has earn my trust four times over for so many reasons. He has always been supportive of our desire for a large family; "You're body is very good at this, so keep going, I say!" He sometimes speaks about the hockey game while we're in surgery. Partly this is a diversion tactic so I feel calm. Partly it's because he is genuinely at ease with what he does. And he has delivered all of my children well. There are many things that can go wrong along the way, but he has not erred yet with our little family.

So yesterday he and I had a frank discussion about the next months. He told me that he would start to look very closely at my health around 24 weeks. For the next ten weeks I can carry on as usual, exercising lightly, carrying groceries etc. But after 24 weeks he will look for signs that the baby is putting too much pressure on my uterus. If so, a season of trial will begin for our family. I will have to keep walking to a minimum. I will not be able to pick up my children. I won't be able to grocery shop without someone along to do the lifting. . . I will be on mission to keep this baby inside me for as long as I can. 28 weeks is the threshold I need to cross for baby to have a good chance.

Sigh.

It's an odd prayer, but if I had to put words to my request it would be; pray for my uterus. Pray that it holds this baby well into maturity. And pray that I find the resources I need to run this household, possibly from the confines of the couch.