Monday, December 29, 2008

::Beloved Trappings::


There are times when I feel I am being stripped of all of my beloved trappings. I can never point back in time to the precise moment it all begins to fall away, I simply wake up and feel bare.
I am living in that place right now.
No pictures. No posts. No paintbrush.
My camera didn't break. My computer is up and running. I haven't been robbed of my art supplies. I have simply been robbed of any desire to put them to use.
Why?
I suspect it's God's way of holding my chin in His hands and turning my gaze towards Him.
Stare into my face for awhile and know me.
When the things that keep me playfully distracted are no longer palatable, and I'm twiddling my thumbs and staring up into the sky, it's Him I will ponder. I will ask; now that I see the core of me, it's looking pretty bleak. What do you want me to put on?
Maybe He will show me how to search for Him in the scriptures EVERY DAY. Maybe He will show me how to truly be attentive to my children every time they call. Maybe He will take my breath away with moments of revealed wonders.
But will I be listening?
Lens cap is on. Monitor is dark. Paints are dry.
I am listening.