Wednesday, December 23, 2009

::New perspective::

o any of you ever get that drowning sensation? The one that is usually brought on by being fixated on lists and particulars. I must admit, I can allow myself to "drown" on a weekly basis. I keep a mental tally of all the things that I feel need to be done, like laundry and food prep and clean-up, and all of the things I want to be done, like trim and flooring and painting. And I begin to strategize on how to possibly accomplish even a few of the things on my list and inevitably realize I will fail.

Zoom out.

See the dust bunnies and rough-edged drywall shrink and disappear as I adjust my lens to encompass the bigger picture. This life is flying past. I have five small children who are growing at a pace that makes me panic. The days are short and if I keep my eyes on the lists and my mind on the particulars and spend all my time trying to tread water, I won't really live. I won't stroke soft curly heads and catch the funny exchanges that take place between siblings. I won't bask in the essence of motherhood that holds special weight when children are still young. I won't lay my head on my husbands shoulder and listen to his heartbeat and be grateful he is here beside me as my strongest defender on this earth.

This season is, ironically, the drowning season. More time is spent running around in a frenzy that soaking up the warmth of family and friends. This, I have come to know. So, my preparation began a few months ago at a slow easy pace. I have no more long lists to struggle through. I am zoomed out and focused on the vast network of loving people and abundant resources God has seen fit to surround me with. And I intend to honour that.

Have a wonderful holiday.